How to Show Up*
*Even When You Don't Want To
Believe me, I get it.
We’re all exhausted. The holidays did us in. Too many obligations, too many late nights, too much consumerism.
And if the holidays didn’t do us in, we’re done in by waking up to news like that we received last Saturday: the so-called executive branch of the U.S. government unlawfully captured the leader (albeit a corrupt one), along with his wife, of a sovereign nation that posed no direct threat. And this same so-called executive branch (which, um, isn’t permitted to declare war) is on the brink of declaring war over…what, exactly?
Oh, that’s right: oil. Oil, and creating a diversion from their own corruption.
It’s enough to make you want to close the curtains, curl up into a ball, shut off every device in your house, and do nothing except read a good book.
I’m not arguing with that strategy; I do plenty of it. But I encourage you—if you can—to think about things a bit differently.
What If It’s About Balance?
The question is, where’s the middle ground? How can we take care of ourselves and avoid becoming overwhelmed—but still feel connected?
I think the key is in showing up when you can. That doesn’t mean every event, every march, every opportunity, both politically and creatively, to get yourself out there. But it does mean taking stock of how long your unique social, creative, and activist batteries run, and making time for the moments when connecting with others (in person ideally; online if not) are manageable.
For me, planning and routines help. For nearly a year, I’ve been meeting online with a small group of writers every Tuesday morning. It’s become ritual, and I plan my Tuesdays around it. I also meet biweekly at a coffee shop with several local writer friends. Not all of us all (including me) are there every time, but I try to plan around that twice-a-month afternoon—because making time to be creative in community is invaluable.
On the activist side, my Unitarian Universalist church provides no shortage of regularly-scheduled and one-time opportunities. Being part of this community is vital for me; it’s good for the soul to be among likeminded people each week.
Sometimes, we’re burned out. Sometimes, it’s best to say no. But I find that if I’m wavering between showing up and staying home, I almost always feel better when I decide to show up.
What If We Find Creative Connection?
If you’re a writer looking for creative connection, here are a few ideas:
Joining the Authors Guild is well worth the investment. The discussion forums are informative, and no other large organization advocates for authors the way AG does.
If you’re in Denver, check out Lighthouse Writers. I’ve mentioned the Friday 500 before; there’s one coming up this Friday, January 9. It’s low key, no stress, and a great way to connect and kick off your creative weekend. Lighthouse is also hosting an all-day write-a-thon on Saturday, January 10.
I have not participated in Dan Blank’s mastermind group for writers, but I’ve been a longtime admirer of his goal: helping writers connect with their audiences and with one another. For creative connection and inspiration, subscribe to Dan’s Substack, The Creative Shift.
For mystery, thriller, and suspense writers, look into Sisters in Crime. This friendly, inclusive group (open to all genders) has chapters across the U.S. I love my Colorado chapter!
Not sure what’s available near you? Visit your local library and ask for their help. They’re sure to find something that works for you.
What If We Step Out? (Or Not…)
I have a couple of online events coming up, and I’d love to see you at either or both of them:
Thursday, January 15, 7:00 pm MST: EveryLibrary online conversation, “Haunted Histories.” I’ll be speaking with this nonprofit about my inspirations for Anyone But Her, “what if” moments, and my path(s) to publication. This free event is available on Facebook Live and YouTube Live.
Thursday, January 22, 1:00 pm MST: Indie Author Project Expert Session: Traditional-to-Indie Publishing. In this session, I’ll explore what goes into the indie decision, pros and cons of indie publishing, and must-have attributes for successful indie publishing.
Both of these opportunities came my way because I was named 2025 Indie Author of the Year by the Indie Author Project. I can’t begin to express my gratitude to this wonderful organization, and I encourage all indie-pubbed authors to check them out.
Also, as mentioned in the last edition of The What If Journal, I chatted recently with Eva Langston on her terrific podcast, The Long Road to Publishing. The episode is live; check it out here.
The Answer to the Long Loneliness
I leave you with this quote from social activist, suffragist, and anarchist Dorothy Day:
Don’t let the long loneliness get to you. Find your balance…but also, find your people.
What a lot of inspiration here, Cynthia. Thank you!