Onigiri Perfection
Some thoughts on artistic grace
Not long ago, our youngest had a birthday. For their family celebration, they wanted to make onigiri. They’d seen YouTube videos of onigiri-making and thought it looked fun.
Onigiri is a Japanese snack food featuring a rice ball, often triangular in shape, filled with any variety of foodstuffs (veggies, egg, tofu, meat, fish, etc.) and wrapped in a decorative piece of seaweed. Some of the recipes I found claimed that making onigiri is a great way to clean out your fridge.
We were game. We’re avid sushi makers—we’ve been making homemade sushi since before our kids came along, and it’s something they began doing with us as they grew.
Given that, we figured onigiri wouldn’t be much of a stretch. It sounded essentially like a triangular, larger piece of sushi.
When you roll sushi, you spread a thin layer of prepared sushi rice onto a sheet of seaweed placed on a bamboo roller. You then add other ingredients and roll tightly. As you work, you use a mixture of water and rice vinegar to keep the rice from sticking to your hands.
We figured the same would be true of onigiri, so we dutifully dipped our fingers in a rice vinegar-water mixture. However, with onigiri, if you try to shape it with vinegar-and-water coated hands, nothing sticks together. You end up with a gloppy mess of rice, veggies, egg, and whatever else you’re trying to throw in.
It’s not pretty. It doesn’t hold together. It looks like failure.
After our first miserable attempts, we washed our hands, took out plastic wrap, and tried again. Our subsequent onigiri was better, but only marginally. The plastic wrap helped; nonetheless, it was clear that onigiri-making takes plenty of practice.
I suspect that the people who made the onigiri videos my kiddo watched had, initially, made some…um…memorable onigiri. Maybe it had ingredients sticking out the side like even our best pieces did, or it fell apart like our initial attempts. It likely was not Insta-worthy.
But they kept at it. They perfected their art, and when they felt ready to share their talent with the world, they made a video and posted it to YouTube.
I’m sharing this story because creative circles are rife with such scenarios. Things that other people do look so perfect and so easy!
But what we see in YouTube videos, at book signings, concerts, art shows—and certainly on social media—is the finished product. We don’t see the messy, gloppy, doesn’t-hold-together work that goes into a long-term creative practice.
Even if we have natural talent in one area, when we explore something new—or even when we stretch ourselves starting a new project in an area in which we feel accomplished—we’re liable to fall into the trap of thinking, everyone else does this so easily—why can’t I?
As creatives, we’ve all been there.
I’m not going to say something as simplistic as “don’t do that,” because of course it’s not that easy. But I will say this: do your best to maintain perspective. Remember that every creative has their own mountain to climb. While we should find the work joyful (why do it otherwise?), it’s not always easy, and it’s rarely fast.
Your best work takes time. Give yourself grace, hours, and patience. And know that those who achieve what might look like “perfection” have also given themselves grace, hours, and patience…because this is the only way forward.
What if we give ourselves life-encompassing grace?
This includes but goes beyond creative practice. I’ve been repeating this message for the past few months, so I hope you’re not sick of it. But I think it needs to be said over and over, especially right now.
We’re all weary. I won’t pretend things are wonderful. Recession looms, and everyday Americans worry about their communities, families, and neighbors. Meanwhile, the administration has other priorities. Currently, according to Project 2025 Tracker, of the 313 objectives in Project 2025, 98 are completed and 66 are in progress. And this past Sunday night, the House Budget Committee passed what Republicans are calling their “Big Beautiful Bill” but what, according to Heather Cox Richardson, the Democratic Women’s Caucus calls the “Big Bad Billionaire Bill.”
As an aside, Monday’s The New York Times did not consider this headline news. Instead, their top stories were President Biden’s health (I do wish him well), and Sean Combs’s trial. If you’re not reading Heather Cox Richardson’s “Letters from an American” each day, I urge you to do so. Richardson—author, historian, and professor—presents vital facts and backs them up with data, which is more than corporate media does these days.
I can’t control what’s happening in Washington, but I can stay informed, call my representatives, and make sure I have June 14th reserved to participate in my local “No Kings Day” event.
Doing these things, in addition to connecting with others, practicing “no zero” in my writing, and getting my hands into the dirt in my garden—all truly help.
How are you caring for yourself? Where are you finding grace? Please share what’s going on with you. Message me or add a comment.
What if—despite everything—we continue to create?
A quick update on my work: As mentioned previously, I’m taking a break from my novel-in-progress to work on a collection of short stories. Since February, I’ve written four stories and revised one previously-published story. I plan to write several more all-new stories and revise two others (from a long time ago; it’s been wonderful to revisit this work from a much-earlier era in my career).
My short story work is rewarding, fun, and low-stress. For inspiration, I’m reading short stories and following Lit Mag News, which keeps me up-to-date on what’s happening in the literary magazine world.
I hope to share my new stories with you soon!
Lately, the novel has been creeping into my consciousness—which tells me that when the time is right, I’ll revisit that work. For now, however, I’m sticking with what feels right.
That, friends, is how we give ourselves grace.
What if we learn together?
Whenever I facilitate a writing class, I feel a bit guilty, because I think I learn as much as the participants. I love hearing about everyone’s writing ideas and helping brainstorm solutions to their writing dilemmas.
Here are upcoming classes and seminars I’m facilitating:
Monday, June 9, 1:30 PM, Denver: Lighthouse Writers Workshop Lit Fest Craft Seminar “So You Want to Go Indie.” Registration is here.
Tuesday, June 10, 4 PM, Denver: Lighthouse Writers Workshop Lit Fest Craft Seminar “To Outline or Blast Ahead? That is the Question.” Registration is here.
Monday, June 16, 6 PM, Castle Rock, CO: Douglas County Libraries Writers Workshop: “Advanced Revision Techniques.” Registration is here.
You can also catch me at these events:
Friday, June 6, 12 PM, Denver: Lighthouse Writers Workshop Lit Fest Business Panel: “Beyond Big Book Publishing—Hybrid, Indie, Self.” Registration is here.
Friday, June 27, 5 - 8 PM, Monument, CO: Covered Treasures Bookstore, Downtown Monument Art Hop. Save the date and check my website—more info coming soon!
Find your love
I leave you with this photo from prom night a few weeks ago. My kid, whose heritage is Korean, chose to wear a traditional Korean hanbok to prom. A dear mentor we met through Asian Girls Ignite did their hair beautifully to match. It was a wonderful evening, my kid looked great…and my heart was full.
I hope that you, too, are finding light, creativity, and love in all the places you can.
We need all the ways we can come up with to creatively ground ourselves in these hard times. Making sushi sounds like a great way to do it. People seem to reverently pursue form and practice in Japan. Just what you are talking about.
you are always so inspiring. I need your stories and insights. Thanks, Kitty Comstock